Tonight it's loud. I'm tired. and I'm homesick :( I just am overwhelmed with worry about money, family, the future, the now, my life, and I feel distracted. I dont know what I should do!! I dont feel like I can just sit down and pray right now, I feel sad, and I want to cry. I miss all my muk kids, I miss my friends, I miss my grandma and my sister, I miss my church! I miss Tim and Livy!! Right now I am homesick. I miss skateboarding, I miss surfing in Huntington. This is only week 2 and I'm feeling this way, is this normal? Maybe it's just finally hitting me right now? I don't know if I can make it 6 months, honestly, this is like the hardest thing Ive had to go through, they are digging deep in my life, getting to my roots of my hurts, and it's hard to think about some of these things.
I'm also struggling with my mom, I miss her, I want a relationship with her, I want to write her a letter, but I have no words yet, I know there is a time and season for everything and it'll come soon enough, but for right now its hard not talking to her, and feeling like I have no one back home [other then my wonderful grandma] I havent received any letters at all and friends or family if your reading this, letters or a box or something "familier" could be sent to me it'd be really encouraging, I didn't think much about mail when I was back home because all of you were around me, but now that I am seperated and out of the country a letter or even note would mean the world to me. Because right now I'd even just love a hug from my grandma, Stacey or Livy.
Anyways please keep my in your prayers, esspecially about finances, I found out today from my Tumor deal that I have about 1000.00 in doctors bills I owe, and still 3500.00 for my school.
Love and Peace
lolo
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Different Cultures..
Last night I went to an amazing african concert last night here in byron, awesome african drumming and dancing! Im in love with the culture here I have gone to two concerts in the last week, last weekend was aussie hiphop bands it was so fun and last night was really fun too I've been meeting people from Holland, Germany, The Neitherlands, Czech Republic, all over the world and am getting connections so I can go visit! haha Im so inlove with Byron Bay its absolutly beautiful, Life here is so much more slow paced and laid back then the states I love it :)
I've been learning so much about the bible too, and Love, love that God created for us to have in the beginning, that Love is Giving, it's absolutly amazing and I feel my knowledge growing abundantly, I truely believe knowlegde comes fom travel, and different cultures. This has been an amazing expirience and It's only been 3 weeks! :D
I am excited to recieve the life God had planned for me. <3
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The 24 hour flu
Hey everyone well yesterday about half of our school came down with the 24 hour flu, I kept trying to fight it and did until about 7 or 8 pm last night, it was knarley though. I just had the throwing up half of it [thank God] but someone the guys had both. Anyways we all woke up today feeling better, and thank you to those who prayed for us!
Love you all and peace be with you :)
Lolo
Love you all and peace be with you :)
Lolo
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Dust Storms?
Oh my word! Where to begin! So this week has been insane, our speaker Chris Twine from Brisbane has been teaching us amazing things about The Character and Nature of God. But I learned a lot about the spirit world, and different realms, as far as like the dark realm and how witch craft is involved with that, and how us as chrisitians are linked to God the spirit in the Spirit realm. I wish I had my notes in front of me to explain it better so I will in my next blog.
One thing I can write about is how Chris was telling us that we can take authority over sickness, and healing in Jesus's name, and that sickness is from the devil as well as allergies, because God created us in His perfect image, and doesn't want us to be sick or in pain, Since I arrived to Byron I had been having horrible allergies. Well two days ago when he told us that I had been claiming the allergies as something I always just had, and In that I renounced claiming them as my own, and said that since God created me in His perfect image, and didn't want me to suffer or be distracted by those allergies that in Jesus name they would be gone, and I have been allergy free now for the last two days! Including during the Dust/Sand storm that blew through Byron bay yesterday! http://www.abc.net.au/news/photos/2009/09/23/2693741.htm There are the pictures of across Australia, anyways if I was going to be sick with that it for sure would have been yesterday and God since I believed in faith took that and not once did I sneeze or anything yesterday. God is good :) Not only that but I have been rebuking bug bites and itcy eyes as well and He is doing healing in my life :) that is excited to me.
Anyways yesterday There was a HUGE sand storm across Australia and the news said it would last for 3 days, and we woke up this morning to see the sun shining and it was so clear for the first time we could actually see the sand on the beach from our house! So today for sure is the most beautiful day we have had since we've gotten here :)
Things are going great here.
I love you all and peace be with you! :)
lo lo
One thing I can write about is how Chris was telling us that we can take authority over sickness, and healing in Jesus's name, and that sickness is from the devil as well as allergies, because God created us in His perfect image, and doesn't want us to be sick or in pain, Since I arrived to Byron I had been having horrible allergies. Well two days ago when he told us that I had been claiming the allergies as something I always just had, and In that I renounced claiming them as my own, and said that since God created me in His perfect image, and didn't want me to suffer or be distracted by those allergies that in Jesus name they would be gone, and I have been allergy free now for the last two days! Including during the Dust/Sand storm that blew through Byron bay yesterday! http://www.abc.net.au/news/photos/2009/09/23/2693741.htm There are the pictures of across Australia, anyways if I was going to be sick with that it for sure would have been yesterday and God since I believed in faith took that and not once did I sneeze or anything yesterday. God is good :) Not only that but I have been rebuking bug bites and itcy eyes as well and He is doing healing in my life :) that is excited to me.
Anyways yesterday There was a HUGE sand storm across Australia and the news said it would last for 3 days, and we woke up this morning to see the sun shining and it was so clear for the first time we could actually see the sand on the beach from our house! So today for sure is the most beautiful day we have had since we've gotten here :)
Things are going great here.
I love you all and peace be with you! :)
lo lo
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Footprints in the Sand
Wow what a beautiful day I woke up too today! I'm so stoked on this small little town named Byron Bay in Australia! No one wears shoes here first off, and I remember living in HB and never wearing shoes or walking around in my wetsuit and I always loved it, well today we went to church for the first time and guess what? lots of the locals dont wear shoes to church! So I went to church barefoot. That is seriously so freeing I love it.
Anyways Friday we had a bbq [every friday we have an outreach bbq for travelers and the homeless] and I met two girls named Jackie and Jess and a guy from Holland named Bas. They were all cool, I got Bas's facebook, and said to Jackie and Jess I'd see them around. Well yesterday I spent the day surfing at main beach, got some fun waves it was great! Well today I woke up to go to church, and guess who shows up? Jackie and Jess! I was stoked to see them there, and it turns out by God that they had been going to a different church and it looked closed to they by chance came to the one we go too!
Well I started talking to them and told them a little about my life and stuff and invited them to come again to church tonight and they invited me to an aussie concert in town sooo im pretty excited to make my first aussie friends. I also invited them over for dinner tomorrow and or tuesday and they have been seeing Bas a lot so they are going to bring him over as well. It's cool because I love meeting fellow surfers and new people and music so it's cool that God is bringing all that around to me :)
Anyways off too go surfing again, keep this in your prayers :)
love you all!
peace be with you :)
Anyways Friday we had a bbq [every friday we have an outreach bbq for travelers and the homeless] and I met two girls named Jackie and Jess and a guy from Holland named Bas. They were all cool, I got Bas's facebook, and said to Jackie and Jess I'd see them around. Well yesterday I spent the day surfing at main beach, got some fun waves it was great! Well today I woke up to go to church, and guess who shows up? Jackie and Jess! I was stoked to see them there, and it turns out by God that they had been going to a different church and it looked closed to they by chance came to the one we go too!
Well I started talking to them and told them a little about my life and stuff and invited them to come again to church tonight and they invited me to an aussie concert in town sooo im pretty excited to make my first aussie friends. I also invited them over for dinner tomorrow and or tuesday and they have been seeing Bas a lot so they are going to bring him over as well. It's cool because I love meeting fellow surfers and new people and music so it's cool that God is bringing all that around to me :)
Anyways off too go surfing again, keep this in your prayers :)
love you all!
peace be with you :)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Lights flashing on and off?
So wednesday night we shared testimony's. I was absolutly terrified to share mine, due to the fact that there was a lot of things that I haven't even told my family about or friends, just have kept to myself or delt with the fear by holding it in. Well time had come, I asked to go outside and pray really quick to which I started sobbing knowing I needed to get everything out off my heart. I came back to the group, and starting sharing my life story. Not sugaring it up or feeling like I was in the box that I feel I've been kept in growing up. Secrets I finally laid out to my new family here, making myself completely vulnerable and admitting the feeling of insecurity. I told about how I grew up with my mother being involved with magic, tarot cards, moving chrystals. How this affected me because when my mom was gone I would be so scared so I turned all the lights on in the house and the tv up loud but still would hear doors slamming, I also had night terror's for a really long time about a witch living in the back of my closet, to the point where my grandma had to come dress me before because I wouldnt open my closet in fear she'd get me.
Well anyways that night I was last to share mine for the night, we went home, slept and when I woke up [yesterday] thursday morning I have never felt so free or refreshed, it was amazing. Well yesterday was full of testimony sharing again, along with the afternoon at the windy beach swimming and playing football. We all met at the base for dinner last night and after did a few more testimony's, finally it was time to go home, so Justice offered to drive me, Mel, Charmina, and Mimi to the house early since our jet leg caught up to us.
Well when we got to the house we saw lights flicking on and off, so Justice went to check it out, and found the door open, and the power out. Well as soon as we had pulled into the driveway I had this heavy heavy feeling of fear, and was really honestly scared. He went to the circut box and the lights plugs were loose and he couldnt get the power on so he called our director Kevin and Kevin and Ian came down, inspected the house with flashlights and bats for protection. They prayed and I was still scared so I was offered to sleep at the base which I was planning on doing. I went into the house with everyone to get all of my things and then as we were leaving a few of the lights came back on so it seems like there was a power outage in our area and it has been windy since we've gotten here. Anyways I still wasn't feeling right about it, and as me and Kevin and Ian got into the van I began to tell them about my testimony [they weren't there when I shared] and about how this brought back a childhood fear for me, Kevin asked if he could pray for me, and I said that was fine and so he began praying for me in the Van and as soon as he started I started crying quietly, afterward I told him how during his prayer I honestly felt like I was five years old again, he prayed more and as he was praying for my release of all my fear I had held in since I was little I began sobbing, and it just felt so so so good to just cry and after we prayed for maybe 20 minutes or so Kevin said he heard the word Victory, and I firmly believe that I claimed victory last night over an era in my life that had been hurting me, I then felt peace and not afraid anymore so I went back into our house, shared with Mel, Charmina, and Mimi what had just happened and was able to cry a little bit more, then slept.
Well this morning I was weary of really being healed of that time in my life. I know that Healing for past things can take time, and I had felt a sence that for that specific era of my life there was healing. So when I woke up I asked God for conformation that He had really worked in my heart for that and that He had healed that part of my life, I picked up the card my leaders had wrote for me for my arrival, and there was a list of scripture's I went through all about 10 of them not finding anything that was for this until the very last one.
It was Isaiah 53:5 it read: "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." It showed me that God had released me and healed me of the fears in my life towards spirits, or well just fear in general. And to feel that release is comforting.
Anyways this morning we watched a video about the new YWAM ship tour that will be hitting the youth all around Australia and Papua New Guinea, the objectives of this ship tour is to strengthen existing health care service infrastructure through provided eye care, cataract surgeries and dentistry, providing primary health care that will address some of Papua New Guinea's top killers including lower respiratory infections, malaria, prenatal confitions, tuberculosis, and meningitis. Provide primary health care that will address other health care concerns in PNG including HIV/ADDS, diarrhoeal diseases, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Delivery of health education (i.e. primary health care and HIV awareness) Provide and/or optimise general community developement and water sanitization. Strengthen and support existing communities, churches and government with field oppertunities for PNG nations. Help train PNG nationals in primary health care serive delivery.
Upon hearing about this, me working with Holland American Cruiselines for the last three years [this year I even applied for working onboard] My expirience working on cleaning yaghts [intarrior and exteriar] last summer for 3 months, thinking about wanting to work onboard a ship or sailboat as crew, wanting to travel, wanting to do missions, and wanting to be in medical feild like my dad. This oppertunity has spoken to me, and I will continue to pray about this for the next 6 months, the head director of the ship is going to be one of our speakers at our school so I will be able to talk to him more about it in the future but just to be aware to please pray for me and if this is where God is leading me then that it will be boldly in my heart, and I will have conformation, God as you can see in my blogs is speaking to me immensely already and it hasn't even been a week [which is going by soo slow I love it :)]
love you family and friends :)
Well anyways that night I was last to share mine for the night, we went home, slept and when I woke up [yesterday] thursday morning I have never felt so free or refreshed, it was amazing. Well yesterday was full of testimony sharing again, along with the afternoon at the windy beach swimming and playing football. We all met at the base for dinner last night and after did a few more testimony's, finally it was time to go home, so Justice offered to drive me, Mel, Charmina, and Mimi to the house early since our jet leg caught up to us.
Well when we got to the house we saw lights flicking on and off, so Justice went to check it out, and found the door open, and the power out. Well as soon as we had pulled into the driveway I had this heavy heavy feeling of fear, and was really honestly scared. He went to the circut box and the lights plugs were loose and he couldnt get the power on so he called our director Kevin and Kevin and Ian came down, inspected the house with flashlights and bats for protection. They prayed and I was still scared so I was offered to sleep at the base which I was planning on doing. I went into the house with everyone to get all of my things and then as we were leaving a few of the lights came back on so it seems like there was a power outage in our area and it has been windy since we've gotten here. Anyways I still wasn't feeling right about it, and as me and Kevin and Ian got into the van I began to tell them about my testimony [they weren't there when I shared] and about how this brought back a childhood fear for me, Kevin asked if he could pray for me, and I said that was fine and so he began praying for me in the Van and as soon as he started I started crying quietly, afterward I told him how during his prayer I honestly felt like I was five years old again, he prayed more and as he was praying for my release of all my fear I had held in since I was little I began sobbing, and it just felt so so so good to just cry and after we prayed for maybe 20 minutes or so Kevin said he heard the word Victory, and I firmly believe that I claimed victory last night over an era in my life that had been hurting me, I then felt peace and not afraid anymore so I went back into our house, shared with Mel, Charmina, and Mimi what had just happened and was able to cry a little bit more, then slept.
Well this morning I was weary of really being healed of that time in my life. I know that Healing for past things can take time, and I had felt a sence that for that specific era of my life there was healing. So when I woke up I asked God for conformation that He had really worked in my heart for that and that He had healed that part of my life, I picked up the card my leaders had wrote for me for my arrival, and there was a list of scripture's I went through all about 10 of them not finding anything that was for this until the very last one.
It was Isaiah 53:5 it read: "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." It showed me that God had released me and healed me of the fears in my life towards spirits, or well just fear in general. And to feel that release is comforting.
Anyways this morning we watched a video about the new YWAM ship tour that will be hitting the youth all around Australia and Papua New Guinea, the objectives of this ship tour is to strengthen existing health care service infrastructure through provided eye care, cataract surgeries and dentistry, providing primary health care that will address some of Papua New Guinea's top killers including lower respiratory infections, malaria, prenatal confitions, tuberculosis, and meningitis. Provide primary health care that will address other health care concerns in PNG including HIV/ADDS, diarrhoeal diseases, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Delivery of health education (i.e. primary health care and HIV awareness) Provide and/or optimise general community developement and water sanitization. Strengthen and support existing communities, churches and government with field oppertunities for PNG nations. Help train PNG nationals in primary health care serive delivery.
Upon hearing about this, me working with Holland American Cruiselines for the last three years [this year I even applied for working onboard] My expirience working on cleaning yaghts [intarrior and exteriar] last summer for 3 months, thinking about wanting to work onboard a ship or sailboat as crew, wanting to travel, wanting to do missions, and wanting to be in medical feild like my dad. This oppertunity has spoken to me, and I will continue to pray about this for the next 6 months, the head director of the ship is going to be one of our speakers at our school so I will be able to talk to him more about it in the future but just to be aware to please pray for me and if this is where God is leading me then that it will be boldly in my heart, and I will have conformation, God as you can see in my blogs is speaking to me immensely already and it hasn't even been a week [which is going by soo slow I love it :)]
love you family and friends :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Byron Bay [the journey begins]
So day 3 in Byron Bay Australia. I flew out Saturday night at 9:30 pm LA time, Layover in New Zealand early monday morning [skipping a day] Not only is New Zealand the greenest and most gorgeous place I've seen since Ireland but I for sure want to return there for a bit to explore the coast! Arriving in Brisbane we all finally met at the airport which was 2 hours north of the base. We all gathered into a big van and car and started our journey. As arriving to the base, we met other students and leaders, the girl were introduced to a large two storey house located on a hill with a beautiful ocean view. I share this house with 7 other girls, and there are about 3 to every room. At the main base we have a swimming pool and most of our meals. Yesterday [day 2] we spent about 2 hours doing a scavenger hunt throughout the town of byron bay finding cool shops [100's of little botiques and surf shops] then afterwards spent the day at the beach surfing, skimming and playing volleyball. The water is already warm enough for only a bathing suit, and the weather so far has been warm and gorgeous!
We started Orientation today, and tonight after our welcome bbq/pool party will begin our testimony sharing. Im pretty nervous for this honestly. I know I have a pretty big one, and it makes me nervous to share it with people I have just met, since I've been judged on it before.
The first night I had a dream. Now for my close friends you know that this is kind of rare for me. Anyways my dream had 2 of the guys from my school in it. And it started with how Tom quit his job he had in the dream saying how it wasn't important. Then we were on the porch and this girl he knew came to talk to us, Her father was in the car parked behind mine and giving me dirty looks, she went over to him and came back asking me why I didnt go to a "real" university and I told her that even if I wanted too I couldn't afford it. She proceeded talking and so I turned and walked away. I remember feeling very vulnerable and insecure. Tom asked why I walked away, I told him she didn't understand my situation. We walked over to my car, I remember my car was just falling apart, and I couldn't find the keys, and I was feeling so broken Tom was comforting me giving me a hug. Jake came around the side of the car and was looking under the hood seeing if he could fix anything. But the jist of this dream was for one, God was telling me the material things arn't important, two it doesn't matter weither or not my family agrees with what I'm doing, or supporting me but the fact that the people now in DTS are my new family, they will be there to help me and support me no matter what. To offer me encouragement and love no matter what I'm struggling or dealing with. Not to offer judgement but support.
Anyways While I was talking to Amanda about how I'm nervous to share my testimony I remembered my dream, and it's encouraging to know that well this is my new family. I'm excited about what God is going to do in my life, and I love the fact that I am about to get healed from my past, and generational curses.
Tonight since the internet was down earlier and we just finished eating amazing bbq burgers [shrimp on the barbie! haha JK] but swimming and dancing tonight was a blast :) we YWAMer's know how to really have fun doing the limbo and "walking it out" haha anyways please continue to keep me in your prayers, and if your interested in Sponsering me my address is on my first blog :)
Family and Friends I love you!
I also love byron bay! :)
We started Orientation today, and tonight after our welcome bbq/pool party will begin our testimony sharing. Im pretty nervous for this honestly. I know I have a pretty big one, and it makes me nervous to share it with people I have just met, since I've been judged on it before.
The first night I had a dream. Now for my close friends you know that this is kind of rare for me. Anyways my dream had 2 of the guys from my school in it. And it started with how Tom quit his job he had in the dream saying how it wasn't important. Then we were on the porch and this girl he knew came to talk to us, Her father was in the car parked behind mine and giving me dirty looks, she went over to him and came back asking me why I didnt go to a "real" university and I told her that even if I wanted too I couldn't afford it. She proceeded talking and so I turned and walked away. I remember feeling very vulnerable and insecure. Tom asked why I walked away, I told him she didn't understand my situation. We walked over to my car, I remember my car was just falling apart, and I couldn't find the keys, and I was feeling so broken Tom was comforting me giving me a hug. Jake came around the side of the car and was looking under the hood seeing if he could fix anything. But the jist of this dream was for one, God was telling me the material things arn't important, two it doesn't matter weither or not my family agrees with what I'm doing, or supporting me but the fact that the people now in DTS are my new family, they will be there to help me and support me no matter what. To offer me encouragement and love no matter what I'm struggling or dealing with. Not to offer judgement but support.
Anyways While I was talking to Amanda about how I'm nervous to share my testimony I remembered my dream, and it's encouraging to know that well this is my new family. I'm excited about what God is going to do in my life, and I love the fact that I am about to get healed from my past, and generational curses.
Tonight since the internet was down earlier and we just finished eating amazing bbq burgers [shrimp on the barbie! haha JK] but swimming and dancing tonight was a blast :) we YWAMer's know how to really have fun doing the limbo and "walking it out" haha anyways please continue to keep me in your prayers, and if your interested in Sponsering me my address is on my first blog :)
Family and Friends I love you!
I also love byron bay! :)
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