Lights flashing on and off?

So wednesday night we shared testimony's. I was absolutly terrified to share mine, due to the fact that there was a lot of things that I haven't even told my family about or friends, just have kept to myself or delt with the fear by holding it in. Well time had come, I asked to go outside and pray really quick to which I started sobbing knowing I needed to get everything out off my heart. I came back to the group, and starting sharing my life story. Not sugaring it up or feeling like I was in the box that I feel I've been kept in growing up. Secrets I finally laid out to my new family here, making myself completely vulnerable and admitting the feeling of insecurity. I told about how I grew up with my mother being involved with magic, tarot cards, moving chrystals. How this affected me because when my mom was gone I would be so scared so I turned all the lights on in the house and the tv up loud but still would hear doors slamming, I also had night terror's for a really long time about a witch living in the back of my closet, to the point where my grandma had to come dress me before because I wouldnt open my closet in fear she'd get me.

Well anyways that night I was last to share mine for the night, we went home, slept and when I woke up [yesterday] thursday morning I have never felt so free or refreshed, it was amazing. Well yesterday was full of testimony sharing again, along with the afternoon at the windy beach swimming and playing football. We all met at the base for dinner last night and after did a few more testimony's, finally it was time to go home, so Justice offered to drive me, Mel, Charmina, and Mimi to the house early since our jet leg caught up to us.

Well when we got to the house we saw lights flicking on and off, so Justice went to check it out, and found the door open, and the power out. Well as soon as we had pulled into the driveway I had this heavy heavy feeling of fear, and was really honestly scared. He went to the circut box and the lights plugs were loose and he couldnt get the power on so he called our director Kevin and Kevin and Ian came down, inspected the house with flashlights and bats for protection. They prayed and I was still scared so I was offered to sleep at the base which I was planning on doing. I went into the house with everyone to get all of my things and then as we were leaving a few of the lights came back on so it seems like there was a power outage in our area and it has been windy since we've gotten here. Anyways I still wasn't feeling right about it, and as me and Kevin and Ian got into the van I began to tell them about my testimony [they weren't there when I shared] and about how this brought back a childhood fear for me, Kevin asked if he could pray for me, and I said that was fine and so he began praying for me in the Van and as soon as he started I started crying quietly, afterward I told him how during his prayer I honestly felt like I was five years old again, he prayed more and as he was praying for my release of all my fear I had held in since I was little I began sobbing, and it just felt so so so good to just cry and after we prayed for maybe 20 minutes or so Kevin said he heard the word Victory, and I firmly believe that I claimed victory last night over an era in my life that had been hurting me, I then felt peace and not afraid anymore so I went back into our house, shared with Mel, Charmina, and Mimi what had just happened and was able to cry a little bit more, then slept.

Well this morning I was weary of really being healed of that time in my life. I know that Healing for past things can take time, and I had felt a sence that for that specific era of my life there was healing. So when I woke up I asked God for conformation that He had really worked in my heart for that and that He had healed that part of my life, I picked up the card my leaders had wrote for me for my arrival, and there was a list of scripture's I went through all about 10 of them not finding anything that was for this until the very last one.
It was Isaiah 53:5 it read: "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." It showed me that God had released me and healed me of the fears in my life towards spirits, or well just fear in general. And to feel that release is comforting.

Anyways this morning we watched a video about the new YWAM ship tour that will be hitting the youth all around Australia and Papua New Guinea, the objectives of this ship tour is to strengthen existing health care service infrastructure through provided eye care, cataract surgeries and dentistry, providing primary health care that will address some of Papua New Guinea's top killers including lower respiratory infections, malaria, prenatal confitions, tuberculosis, and meningitis. Provide primary health care that will address other health care concerns in PNG including HIV/ADDS, diarrhoeal diseases, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Delivery of health education (i.e. primary health care and HIV awareness) Provide and/or optimise general community developement and water sanitization. Strengthen and support existing communities, churches and government with field oppertunities for PNG nations. Help train PNG nationals in primary health care serive delivery.

Upon hearing about this, me working with Holland American Cruiselines for the last three years [this year I even applied for working onboard] My expirience working on cleaning yaghts [intarrior and exteriar] last summer for 3 months, thinking about wanting to work onboard a ship or sailboat as crew, wanting to travel, wanting to do missions, and wanting to be in medical feild like my dad. This oppertunity has spoken to me, and I will continue to pray about this for the next 6 months, the head director of the ship is going to be one of our speakers at our school so I will be able to talk to him more about it in the future but just to be aware to please pray for me and if this is where God is leading me then that it will be boldly in my heart, and I will have conformation, God as you can see in my blogs is speaking to me immensely already and it hasn't even been a week [which is going by soo slow I love it :)]

love you family and friends :)