Take my hand to the promise land, And on You I want to stand‘Cause I cannot do it on my own, You're what I need and I need to be, Right by Your side ‘cause I cannot hide, Lord, I know that I need You, I need You, Without You I'm so alone, I am weak but You are strong, You pick me up when I'm falling down, And I am crying, Out to You inside of my heart, I need You, Lord, oh so, for the part, I want You to have my life, Jesus, I fall to my knees, And I'm begging You, please, oh, Lord, Won't You change me, Make me new from the inside out. [Take my Hand: Shawn Mcdonald]
Today Lord this is my prayer, that as I lay down to rest tonight I will rest in You, and You alone will be my strength, my rock, my soundmind. Healing is coming in my life tonight plays a pretty big part in it. After receiving an email from my mom, I became very angry and hurt. I shut myself up in my own box again like I'm used too and began to hold it in. I went to the prayer room where I told God I recieved his healing, tears began to form. But still not feeling alone [living in community] I went back to the girls house and took a nap, I had crazy bizarre dream that would end, and keep replaying with different scenerios like if this guy had God in his life what it would be like, it was almost scarey. I woke up still feeling upset and angry, as soon as I got back to the base one of the leaders asked me what was going on I was able to be released and began to cry and share, I went to talk to my one on one Kelly and just opened up, which for me is so hard, I hate crying infront of people and to cry and be so vulnerable is so new to me, but afterwards I feel free to the hurt and sorrow that had filled me.
She told me its ok to be angry, its ok to be sad, those are feelings that I push down and usually hide to put on my "happy face" the fun happy Laura that is so strong and can handel anything thrown at her. Well big surprise I do feel and today I felt emense pain and sorrow and anger at how the enemy is devious and hateful. Anyways I will continue being vegan for the next 3 months until the first week of the new year. I believe its for the cause of healing and for my family. I am not in bondage to food, or sugar. I believe in the God most High who has created me to lean on Him knowing that He is my rock and my salvation. Its crazy the things God has in store for us when we listen to Him. He wants us to be happy, and healed and not in anger, pain or sorrow. This is just day one of Vegan for Jesus and this healing process has already begun. Amazing eh?
Anyways the battle is being faught for my future, and my families generation. It ends here. I will no longer allow generational curses to continue it has been broken by Jesus. Anyways I feel like Im becoming like this "Jesus freak" haha but its not about that, Im still Laura, I love to go out and have fun. I love to surf and hang out at the beach and dance to crazy music. But I also love Jesus, it doesn't make me weird, and its dumb that christians are looked as weird but someone who believes in buddah or alla is entitled to their faith. If your reading this and you know me, then you know I am no different then anyone else, I still have hurts, problems, and temptations, but I believe in a God that loves and forgives and has grace and mercy on me as I am.
I guess thats all for tonight. love and peace be with you -lolo
No comments:
Post a Comment